MONSTER: Chaunce Dill

Me? I’m not love. I’m not even loved, really. It’s all about keeping me from hurting other people. It’s never about keeping them from hurting me.

Like, I get it. I’m nobody’s idiot. I’m always a volcano, just always, and sometimes I erupt. I get mad and other people end up covered in things like blood or bone shards or whatever.

I really get that, seriously.

But sometimes I wonder if Astrid, or Moose, or any of them really see me. When I’m calm. When I’m smiling. I walk by mirrors and sometimes all I see is what they probably see.

Anger and boiling…something. There’s always something boiling in me.

But sometimes, you know what, I see ME. Chaunce. I see pink shoes and pretty teeth, even that one tooth that Astrid chipped when she was trying to do that backflip that time. I walked too close. There wasn’t even any blood.

Astrid, I see her for who she is no matter what stupid mean girl face she’s making. No matter how much her black cigarettes pucker her lips. I see her like nobody else will ever see her.

Look at me. We’re talking about me and all I can do is talk about Astrid.

Me? Well, I’m not love. I’m not even loved, really. I’m all the hate and violence and anger that people see spilling out of me.

But, you know…

I’d be love, if I could be.